Why, Oh Why?

I’m not a morning person and neither is my boy. I woke him up and left the room. Next thing I knew I was hearing loud noises. LOUD. It sounded like he had started a demolition project. I hurried back to his room to see he was lifting television equipment and slamming it back down. Pulling wires and shoving cords and generally in a frustrated state. I got everything back to where it belonged and made sure a program he enjoys was on the TV.

Half an hour later I returned to get him dressed for the day. He was uncooperative pushing me away with his hands and his feet. I put my game face on determined he wasn’t getting the best of me. And while I was frustrated, it didn’t last long and he was ready to go.

Jacob was very cooperative leaving home and seemed to enjoy the scenery as I took a longer route to give him a little more riding time. Once at the center, he got out fairly quickly and walked right up the steps. And then, proceeded to bother the two guys sitting on the bench that he scared the week before! ARGHHHHH…… I jumped out of my vehicle and managed to redirect him into the building. ONLY for him to turn around and yank an earring off the staff member at the check in desk. She wasn’t fazed. I was. Finally after shaking up everyone in his path, he headed toward the kitchen and I back out to the parking lot.

Why, oh why? One day he is almost perfect and the next day just the opposite. I can take him slamming equipment. I can take him pushing me around. I cannot take him being a bully. I get a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes knowing I don’t know how to make it better.

Why, oh why can a few minutes one morning affect your whole day putting you in a downhearted funk? I was unmotivated to start anything on my to-do list that day. A heavy cloud was smothering me. I wondered around the house trying to pick one thing to do. Either a necessary chore or a just-for-fun project. Nothing. Not one thing interested me.

I sat back in my recliner and fought back tears. At one point, our Golden girl, Gracie, came up beside me and laid her head on my arm, searching my face with her big brown eyes. She has such a sweet, sensitive nature. And as I reached to scratch behind her ears, she started licking me. Covering me in puppy kisses. Oh, how God uses His creation to feed our souls.

In an effort to shift my attention, I picked up a book I’ve been reading and opened to my bookmark. My eyes read this sentence, … trust totally in the Lord’s feet. IN the Lord’s feet? Hmmmmm….. I did a double take and reread the sentence – I would lay my worry and trust totally at the Lord’s feet. AT, not IN. Ever skim a page and miss important parts of a sentence? (An indication of my mental state.) In this case, I felt I did need to trust IN. He would carry me, HIS feet would take me where I needed to go.

It was a day where I didn’t accomplish much but I was in a much better frame of mind when it was time to pick up my fella. All because I recognized God speaking to my heart through two unsuspecting sources—our dog and a fictional book.

Why so downcast, oh my soul? Put your hope in God.

Psalm 42:11

6 thoughts on “Why, Oh Why?

  1. Reading today’s article brought tears to my eyes and my heart hurts but I’m so thankful that you will share the hard times as well as good times with Jacob. I’m sure there is someone who reads this that will be encouraged with something you said. Lots of people are having a hard day.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Bless your sweet heart!!! I am so glad God was right there for you through your dog and His message that was JUST FOR YOU at such a time as this. Praying for you and Jacob.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s