Watching Jacob sleep is a time of reflection on the past.  What are his best memories?  Which birthday cake was his favorite?  Did he miss his brother when he moved out?  Does he dream about times with his grandparents?  Does his mind take him to a favorite place to be?

Look at the present day:   What made him happy?  Did he eat a good lunch?  Did someone make him sad?  Did he give someone a big smile?   Does he have a headache?  Which video is he on a mission to find?  Was he uncomfortable? Did he scare someone?

And wondering about the future.  So many unknowns.  I truly don’t know where to start.  What will happen to my special needs child when I’m gone is the million-dollar question for so many parents.   And a reality we’d like to escape but wouldn’t dare. 

If you are a parent, you have memories of watching your child sleep.  There is something so very peaceful about the steady rise and fall of their chest.  The slight movement of their eyelids.  The steady breathing.  I’ve had the privilege of watching Jacob sleep for more than 4 decades. And it hasn’t gotten old yet!

Not wanting to disturb him, I  don’t sneak into Jacob’s room much at night.  But I do watch him through our monitors. 

And study him with a smile on my face and a bigger one in my heart.  Thanking God for entrusting Jacob Michael to my care.

I have decided to put a pause on my years of blogging.  It may be that I’ll pick it back up in the future or this may be a permanent end.   I will not be renewing the WordPress blog host so this will disappear soon.

Thank you all for following our journey.  For reaching out via text, comments, the blog contact form, or Jacob’s Facebook page.  Truly I’m overwhelmed at the encouragement that has always come at the perfect time and the countless expressions of love showered on us.  You’ve been a most wonderful community of strong support.  I will continue the Facebook page:  Jacob’s Problem Free Philosophy when I just HAVE to tell a story about our boy.

Lullaby and goodnight
Now the day time is over
Time to slip off to your dreamland
I will keep you safe and warm
Lullaby and goodnight
There is nothing to fear
Lullaby and goodnight
When you wake I’ll be near

A version of Brahms’ Lullaby

May your heart smile knowing the enormous blessing you’ve been to our family. 

Goodnight. Sleep tight. Now, this blog posting is over.